Raising Our Boys in the 2000s: What We Were Told, and What Was Missing
Raising Our Boys in the Early 2000s: What We Were Told, and What Was Missing
When our three boys were born in 2002, 2004, and 2006, parenting advice was everywhere. Bookshelves were stacked with manuals on how to raise emotionally intelligent children, how to discipline without shaming, how to speak to your toddler so they would listen, and—most of all—how to supercharge your child’s brain.
Cognitive development was the obsession of the early 2000s. The advice was to read aloud, narrate everything, play Mozart, invest in Baby Einstein DVDs, and stockpile flashcards. “Positive discipline” was the other big buzzword—time-outs instead of spanking, naughty steps made famous by Supernanny, and emotion-coaching strategies from psychologists like John Gottman.
All of this advice was valuable, and in many ways, ahead of its time. But what struck us then—and even more so now in hindsight—is how little was said about the role of physical health in shaping not just bodies, but also minds and emotions.
The Missing Piece: Physical Health as a Cognitive and Emotional Foundation
In those years, the message was clear: if you wanted a smart, well-adjusted child, you focused on words, books, and behavior charts. Rarely did the parenting experts connect the dots between physical health and brain development.
What if strength training, balance, and movement variety could have been framed as essential for focus, emotional regulation, and resilience?
What if whole nutrition—real food instead of processed convenience—had been elevated as critical not just for healthy growth, but for learning capacity and mood?
What if parents were told that modeling an active and mindful lifestyle—walking together, cooking healthy meals, lifting weights, mindful breathing, prioritizing sleep—was just as powerful for raising emotionally intelligent, resilient kids as reading bedtime stories?
Back then, physical health was often siloed into pediatric check-ups, sports leagues, or the occasional food pyramid poster. It wasn’t woven into the daily parenting conversation the way “cognitive stimulation” was.
What We Learned Raising Boys Through the Noise
Raising our boys in that era meant navigating this myriad of advice—often useful, but sometimes incomplete. We were told to read aloud every night. We were supposed to frame discipline in a way that was positive and soft-spoken instead of negative and with raised voices. I tried to keep up with what the “experts” said would give them the best shot at becoming successful, grounded humans.
But as the years went by, we began to see that their physical routines mattered just as much—maybe more. When they moved their bodies, they focused better. When we were strict about regular sleep schedules, they far better managed their emotions. When they ate real food, their moods were more even. When we modeled strength, stamina, and rest, they absorbed those habits in ways no book or DVD could have taught.
A New Parenting Paradigm
Looking back, I believe the advice of the early 2000s was only half the story. Yes, cognitive enrichment and positive discipline matter. But the missing narrative was that the body drives the brain, not just the other way around.
A body that is well cared for is no longer a sign of vanity or vapidness - or - a sign that someone is a Gym Bro/Gal or a Meathead. Those days are long gone. Time caring for our bodies is time caring for our brains - our ability to think, to remember, to be free of anxiety and depression, to remain optimistic.
My husband and I by no means nailed our parenting and our kids are far from perfect. But what we were was intuitive. We knew what had worked for us for so many years and we were willing to apply it to parenting our young boys.
When we were down, we moved. When we were clouded and confused, we rested. When life felt out of control, we leaned even more into lifting weights and going to fitness classes because that tapped into some happy hormones and gave us a sense of control again.
Now we know more: exercise enhances executive function and markedly improves outlook. Nutrition influences attention and mood. Sleep consolidates learning. Physical health is not an afterthought to parenting—it’s the soil in which cognitive, emotional, and social development grows.
For parents today, that’s the reminder I wish had been louder when my boys were little:
Read to them, yes.
Coach their emotions, absolutely.
But also: move with them, eat with them, and show them that health is lived, not just taught.
Because raising resilient, curious, emotionally intelligent kids isn’t just about what happens in the mind—it’s about what we do with our bodies, every day.